Onward and Upward
by vkeithley
Summary: Bill lives and the fight continues...
1. Suffering

**Disclaimer: I do not own "Big Love." Because if I did, I would have given Bill a better ending than his creators. I do not profit from "Big Love."**

**Big Love FanFiction**

**Chapter One: Suffering**

Three shots to the chest.

_Why? Why, Carl? _

"I need a blessing, Barb. From You," Bill whispered.

Time meant nothing. Nothing meant nothing, except family.

_Why had I been so stubborn? I had been sent a vision by Emma Smith, a woman who certainly held the priesthood as clearly as Joseph, but I didn't see it. Barb, forgive me._

"By the power invested in me, by the Melchezidek priesthood…" Barb choked out the words.

Sirens rang in the distance. The street felt warm against his back, as his blood pooled beneath him.

_If I go now, Heavenly Father, I'm ready. I'm done all that I can._

Emma stood before him, glowing in Heavenly glory.

"_Now, Bill, do you really think Heavenly Father is done with you? You think you've suffered for our faith, but that suffering has just begun. You will suffer, but you will also feel His glory. You will shepherd us all into the light…"_

Her glow brightened until Bill could no longer see her.

When the glow dimmed, the face of a man appeared in his eyes. A doctor. His wives' anxious faces in the background. A hospital.

"Welcome back, Bill. We thought we'd lost you…."

**~The end, For now~**

_I was heartbroken at the end of "Big Love." Many people said it ended perfectly. I thought it was a disservice to the character who tried so hard to keep a family together when all odds were against them. I hoped you enjoyed it. There will be more to come.~vkeithley_


	2. Remembering

**Disclaimer: I do not own "Big Love." Because if I did, I would have given Bill a better ending than his creators. I do not profit from "Big Love."**

**Big Love FanFiction**

**Chapter Two: Remembering**

"A coma? For eleven months?"

Bill could hardly believe it.

When he opened his eyes in the hospital, it had seemed only moments had passed from when he'd been lying in the middle of the street. Carl had been so angry. And then Bill had seen the gun.

He did not remember the shooting itself. Some of his memories were just…gone.

Had he pleaded for Carl not to shoot? Had he felt the bullets enter his chest? Had there been any pain?

Many of the memories involving the shooting were in a dark, unrecoverable place in his mind. He had seen the gun, and then Barb, Nikki, and Margene had knelt beside him, comforting him.

"Honey, the doctor said that memory loss was to be expected." Barb held his hand tightly. Nikki stood stiffly on the other side of the room, seeming almost fearful.

"You had a brain clot," Barb continued, "and…"

"Barb, why are you telling him the gruesome details! Can't we just be thankful!"

"Nikki, honey, come closer." Bill beckoned her to his side.

"Oh, Bill," Nikki exploded. "I didn't think I'd ever see you awake again. The things I have had to do for this family." Nikki rushed to the bedside and laid her head against Bill's shoulder.

"You can't understand what I've been through," Nikki wailed.

Barb rolled her eyes.

"Honey, I know you have done your best," Bill placated her, stroking her arm gently. "Has Marge called yet?"

"Not yet," Barb answered, "but I know she'll return as soon as she gets the news."

"How has she been? How have you all been? You've been shielding me for the past few days, but now I want to know."

"So many things have been happening," Barb began. "We all waited for you to come out of your coma. Marge was just devastated. She felt so guilty. I felt so guilty."

"Guilty? Why?" Bill was astounded.

"Carl had not been…right…for some time. He'd warned Margene to stay away from Pam, that Pam was spending too much money on Goji. He'd asked me to talk to you, to get you to keep Margene away from Pam. I said that I would handle it, but Margene would get so upset when we even mentioned Goji, I let it be."

Barb looked stricken, but her words kept flowing.

"Margene felt so awful; she said that she couldn't sit around and wait for you to die. She needed to save others, to make up for you. She went away the first time two months after you were shot."

"Bill, she was totally ridiculous," Nikki scoffed. "She wouldn't quit going on about having to save Mexicans or whomever. But I remembered that you wanted me to support her, so I gave my encouragement."

Bill started to sit up, but his weakened muscles wouldn't allow much movement. Frustrated, he hit the bed railing.

"Barb, honey, you have no reason to feel guilty. Carl was obviously demented. Things had not been going his way for some time. You and Margene did nothing wrong. He chose to pick up a gun and shoot me instead of coming to me, or asking for help. Now, I guess he's got a nice long jail sentence to think about what he could have done differently."

Barb and Nikki shared a look. Bill caught it and asked.

"What? Where is Carl?"

"After he shot you, he went home and shot himself. He didn't make it," Barb whispered.

"God watch over his soul," Bill murmured.

"Pam moved away. She and Margie cried buckets right in the middle of the street. It was embarrassing," Nikki added.

"Does she like traveling and helping others?" Bill asked. He hoped that she'd found what she'd been looking for.

"The first time she came back we couldn't get her to shut up about it. She's gotten Cara Lynn excited about doing mission work with her, after college."

"How is Cara Lynn? And the children? Wayne? Lester? Raymond? Aaron? Nell?"

Barb smiled and didn't hesitate to tell the love of her life all the news that the last few days of numerous rounds of testing had not allowed. Nikki interjected snidely at times, lovingly at others. Barb had always loved Nikki, but it was Nikki who became the caregiver to the children, and caretaker of their homes, while Barb ministered to the church that Bill had begun. Nikki had become her rock.

The two each held one of Bill's hands, while the nurses came and went, wondering how on earth they could be so happy.

Barb let Bill know that he'd missed a lot. The family went on living life, as they knew he would want for them. Sarah and Scott had a precious baby boy two months earlier, baptized as William Orville Henrickson Quittman, or just Billy.

Heather and Ben had married six months earlier…

"We'll see how long that lasts…"

"Nikki!" Barb admonished.

"I'm just saying…."

…in their church with Barb performing the sealing. Ben did not have a testimony for the Principle, which suited Heather just fine. Her parents had vehemently disagreed with her choice to marry Ben. Heather and her family were tentatively reconnecting, thanks in part to Barb's patient and knowledgeable interventions. Barb loved tending the flock that Bill had began shepherding. She let Bill know that he had given her everything she had ever wanted.

Cara Lynn was a junior in high school and already receiving applications from top level university, eyeing medical schools. She and Nikki had forged new ground as mother and daughter, and with Nikki's encouragement…

"Well, what choice do I really have?"

…Cara Lynn visited the Walkers from time to time and found some common ground with her older half-brother, Doctor Roquet...

"I still haven't forgotten that he tried to artificially inseminate me with JJ's sperm, but my spirit is too forgiving to allow that awfulness to affect Cara Lynn. I just make sure she takes her pepper spray when she goes to visit…"

…and her other siblings.

The little boys and precious Nell were all growing like weeds. They kept Nikki busy from morning to night, particularly when Margene was away.

"I swear, it's like I'm a single mother of five."

Barb raised her eyebrows.

"Well, it's true."

"You love it," Barb stated. "The children adore you and you love being the boss."

Nikki smirked. "It's just that I do it so well. I have no ego about it whatsoever."

Bill wasn't fooled with all the happiness and light talk, though.

"What about the store? Don? How are you all surviving?"

"Lee Hatcher has been amazing, Bill. He and Don and many of your supporters who thought you were so courageous in the senate that day…They've all helped us. Your insurance has covered most of your hospital bills, and we receive donations daily to help with the rest. We sold Nikki's house, though."

Before Bill's eyebrows could climb completely into his hairline, Barb said, "We didn't need the room, Bill. And we feel so much closer now."

Barb sighed.

"We lost the 2nd store. But Lee managed to save the first, though, and slowly business has begun to come back to us. The compound folks come into town and shop solely from us, and Don began a delivery service out to folks who couldn't make it in. There is also the revenue with still receive from the casino…It's not much but it helps."

"And my trial…"

"Obviously on hold. But Lee can talk to you about that when you are feeling stronger."

"Barb, you didn't mention Teeny," Bill said softly. "And Ben truly intends not to follow the Principle?"

"Bill, we can talk about it later…"

"Barb, please…Tell me everything."

Barb sighed. "About Teeny…"

**~The end, For now~**

_*Whew…This one took a lot of brainpower. There were so many dropped plot lines, it took a while to figure out where I wanted this story to head. We've got to get Bill out of the Statutory Rape charges, and deal with the prodigal daughter, Teeny._

_I hoped you enjoyed it. There will be more to come. ~vkeithley_

_P.S. If anyone is seeking a story to Beta read for, send me a message._


	3. Relenting

**Disclaimer: I do not own "Big Love." I do not profit from "Big Love."**

**Big Love FanFiction**

**Chapter Three: Relenting**

Bill hung his head in his hands. "Father in Heaven…" he murmured.

"I should have seen this coming years ago. She has always been fascinated…I don't know, Bill. I can't help but blame myself," Barb said. She looked tortured. Now that Bill was awake, something she had prayed for non-stop for 11 months, her youngest daughter had taken precedence in her mind.

She thought of Nikki, who had stepped out of the room to allow them privacy, and the past issues with Cara Lynn, and of Sarah premarital sex and consequent miscarriage. Now Teeny. Would all of their daughters be lead astray? Would poor, sweet, baby Nell have the same pressures and obstacles when she grew up.

"We shouldn't have let her go with Sarah," Barb said.

"Do you feel that Sarah hasn't taken care of her? That she has been a bad influence?" Bill asked, raising his head.

"No, it's not that, of course not. Sarah is fine, but she isn't her mother. We thought the election was too much for her, that she needed a fresh start, but maybe if she had stayed, I would have seen…"

Sarah had discovered under 15-yearold Teeny's bed in their Portland home, a box full of pornographic materials, most of them lesbian in nature. Sarah had not mentioned anything to Teeny, but a week later she had come home early to find Teeny in bed with another young woman. Years before, the neighbors had discovered Teeny was showing their small sons pornographic materials and charging them money. She had admitted to have thoughts of a sexual nature.

At the time, the Henriksons had been so grateful that the neighborhood hadn't known about the family being polygamists, they only punished Teeny in the slightest way imaginable. Bill and Barb had spoken to her about the inappropriateness of the materials and prayed with her, and let that be the end of it.

"No," Barb answered herself. "No, I would not have seen. I was so busy with my own trials, my own destiny. I would have missed it, like I missed it the first time."

Barb reached for Bill's hand.

"Bill, I was so grateful that you bestowed the priesthood upon me. I haven't thanked you properly for that. It was such a horrific moment, though, I have always wondered why you did it then. If you really meant it. Because I have loved having this legitimate, recognized connection to Heavenly Father, so that I could minister to others, to my family. But since Teeny…It's so hard sometimes, Bill. I thought having the priesthood would make it easier. Perhaps make me stronger for my family? But often I am just as lost as before."

"Oh honey," Bill murmured, kissing her hand. "I had a testimony in those final moments. I can barely remember it, like a dream, but Emma Smith herself guided me. You should never doubt that you carry the priesthood. But, even though you do, it doesn't make things any easier. Often, it seems harder to see Father's will."

A knock at the door made the pair raise their heads. Bill's eyes widening in surprise, then narrowed in suspicion. Barb mouth unhinged as she stared in disbelief.

"Hello, Barb. Hello, Bill. I heard the good news and I thought I'd bring you a get-well gift."

"What do you need, Marilyn?" Bill asked coldly. Powerful, conniving lobbyist Marilyn Densham stood at his hospital door, carrying a potted fern.

"Barb, do you mind if I speak with Bill for just a teeny moment alone. I promise I won't keep him long. Our boy has to recuperate."

Barb glanced at Bill, who nodded tersely, a scowl on face. He had not forgotten or forgiven Marilyn Densham for her duplicity in the casino dealings. Barb stalked past Marilyn without so much as a word.

"Nice to see you again, Barb," Marilyn called after her.

Closing the door, Marilyn beamed at Bill. "Don't you just look like the picture of health?"

"I ask again, Marilyn, what do you need?" Bill refused to play any of her games.

"I need you, Bill, just as I always have. Since you've decided not to die on me, and the Senate is actually mulling over your legislation to legalize polygamy, I've decided you can be of use to me. That is, if you are not in prison for statutory rape."

Marilyn smiled as she always did when she knew she had the upper hand. She reveled in it. It was better than sex.

Leaning close to him, she whispered seductively. "Just ask, Bill. That's all you have to do. Ask and you shall receive."

Bill's face began to burn with anger. He hated her. He hated that he hated her. How could he feel such on emotion on the heels of feeling the most amazing joy that Heavenly Father had spared his life?

"Make it go away, Marilyn."

Marilyn grinned, but her eyes were dead cold steel. "That wasn't a question."

Bill gritted his teeth. "Will you please make it go away, Marilyn?"

Suddenly, Marilyn became coy. Another trick she had developed in her years of dealing with men who thought their penises moved mountains.

"Oh, I don't know if I have the power to do that, Bill. But I'll give it my best. I'll be in touch."

**~The end, For now~**

_Alrighty, now we're cooking with gas! Sorry for the delay. My novel, which is coming out in May, needed some final FINAL edits, so I was otherwise occupied for a while._

_I hoped you enjoyed it. There will be more to come. ~vkeithley_


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